The Twelve Days Of Mattmas
by City Girl Dreamer
Summary: On the first day of Mattmas, my true love gave to me... Matt's idea of Christmas is completely different to Mello's and yet, for some strange reason, Mello has decided to go along with Matt's plans. Oh, how he regrets such a decision now. Mello/Matt.


**And now for something completely different!**

**A themed Christmas Mello/Matt treat for all my lovely reviewers from my other two stories! ^_^**

**_DISCLAIMER:_**_ I own nothing from Death Note...anything I do own is most likely stolen from my friends..._

**_WARNING:_**_ YAOI...RANDOM THINGS THAT MATT BRINGS HOME...MELLO'S MOUTH...SEXY-TIME MAYBE..._

**Now, I was listening to this annoying song and thought about how much it must do Mello's head in, if Matt were to make it more...literal. I think I shall have fun writing this! ^_^**

**I have an aim...I am going to do a Matt/Mello story for every single genre on this site. I already have romance/friendship and romance/hurt/comfort, but I have a romance/angst planned and I have started to write a romance/horror. This story shall be...romance/humor! ^_^  
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**AND NOW...FOR THE MELLO/MATT CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!!!!**

**ENJOY!  
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Partridge In A Pear Tree

_On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...a partridge in a pear tree!_

He blinked in disbelief.

He rubbed his eyes, just in case they were playing tricks on him.

He tilted his head to the side and glared.

Then, finally giving up and accepting the new foreign object in his room, Mello pulled out a bar of chocolate and began unwrapping it impatiently. Before his very eyes sat a pear tree, innocently sitting in front of his bedroom door.

Now, when Mello has come back from a fucking hard job, he likes to spend the rest of the night sleeping in his bed. Or sleeping in Matt's bed. Whichever he deemed closest depending on the day he's had. What Mello does NOT like, is to come back from a fucking hard job and finds a fucking TREE in front of his bedroom door.

Seeing as it was only he and his so-called friend that lived in the shit-hole of an apartment, it didn't take a genius to figure out who had placed said tree in front of his fucking door.

"Matt!"

Pulling out his gun and swinging it around his fingers expertly, he waited for the gamer to show up. Normally it would take three seconds for the gamer to stub out his fag, pause his game and then run to Mello. Checking his watch, almost five seconds have passed. Ten seconds. Fifteen. Thirty. A whole fucking minute!

Patience was a virtue, but seriously, when was he a fucking virtuous guy?

Snapping off a bite of his chocolate, Mello turned on his heel and stormed up across the hallway to Matt's room. Now...the gamer should either be dead or fucking bleeding to death, because so help him God, Mello was going to kill him if Matt was sleeping or playing on one of his fucking games!

Slamming the door open, Mello burst into the room, gun out and safety off and aimed at the bed...which...was...empty?

Mello quirked up an eyebrow and glared at the empty bed, snapping off more chocolate with frustration. He scanned the room, eyeing the empty couch, the turned off TV, the...tidy set of games? Fuck...was Matt ill?

Had he gone to the fucking hospital?

Shoving the gun back in it's rightful place, Mello scoffed and sauntered out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. If Matt had gone to the hospital then he was either stupid, mental...or stupid.

Or maybe he hadn't gone to the hospital. Which sounded quite right in Mello's mind. After all, they were trying to keep a low profile, what with the Kira case and all that shit. Not only that, but Matt was quite the pro when it came to medical shit, so he couldn't have run off to the hospital.

Not only that, but the gamer NEVER turned off the TV and Mello had the electric bills to prove it.

Was Matt...kidnapped? Murdered? Worse...abandoned him?

No. That didn't sound like loyal, affectionate and socially retarded Matt. Not his Matt.

Chewing thoughtfully on his chocolate, Mello decided to check out the rest of the apartment.

Spying on all the other rooms, Mello saw them to be tidy as well. So, Matt must be really sick. Tidying up was something Matt had been heavily against and Mello couldn't help but smirk at the memory of a mini-Matt declaring himself alergic to tidying.

Throwing himself down on the sofa, Mello stretched out like a panther, his muscles protesting and his bones popping as he moved. Groaning with pleasure, Mello slumped back down and eyed the phone. He contemplated calling up the gamer and finding out where the fuck he had gone to.

Not that Mello was worried. Matt was smart enough to not get himself into any shit, after all, there was a reason for him being in third place at Wammy's. Although...Matt was rather...naive over hos dangerous the outside world was. Badass he may declare himself to be, but he wasn't invincible. There was no way in fucking Hell that Matt would be able to defend himself, if something happened to him.

He thought himself too clever, too sneaky to get caught stealing or get into trouble on the street. Of course, when such conversations that centered on such topics were aroused, Mello had to remind Matt once again that this was fucking reality...NOT a fucking game!

Rubbing his temples, Mello crumpled up the empty chocolate wrapper and through it over his head. A small noise of surprise made his eyes snap open as he shot up into a sitting position and craned his neck around.

Standing there, looking highly annoyed and flushed...was Matt.

Fucking Matt!

"We have a bin you know," He drawled, speaking around the fag that hung loosely from his lips.

Clenching his fists, he abruptly stood up and marched over to the fucking idiot standing there, as if he had all the time in the world carrying a fucking...bird...cage?

Mello froze in his steps and in one swift movement pulled out his gun and pointed it at the damn thing. It squawked and fluttered around the cage sensing danger radiating from the blonde person. Matt rolled his eyes and pulled the cage behind him, protecting the bird from Mello's wrath.

"Matt? What the fuck is that thing you're hiding?!" Mello demanded, waving the gun in the gamer's face.

Sighing and shaking his head, Matt pulled out his fag and tapped the ash out, letting it drop onto Mello's boots. Then placing the fag back into his mouth, he tilted his head to the side and smirked.

"It's a partridge...duh."

Mello twitched at the nonchalant tone and tried to stifle down the urge to shoot off Matt's smug grin. The gamer blew a couple of smoky rings his way before sauntering past him towards the pear tree. The blonde silently followed him, his gun still out and cocked at his friend's back.

Matt slowly reached into the cage, allowing the bird to hop onto his finger, it's tiny claws hooked tightly into the leather. Mello was speechless as he saw the bird remain absolutely still on the gamer's finger as he placed the cage down. Never before had he seen a bird so...obedient.

The partridge fluttered it's wings softly, nuzzling it's feathery breast as Matt reached into the pear tree for a suitable branch. The blonde began to shake his head and approached the crouching gamer quietly.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He finally asked, hissing his words.

Matt rolled his eyes and gently placed the bird onto one of the branches and stood up, hands on hips.

"Isn't it obvious?" He asked, tilting his head to the side and looking over his shoulder to Mello.

"If it was, would I be asking?" Mello replied dryly.

"Humph, touche."

Matt watched the bird jump from branch to branch, before fluffing out it's feathers and settling down on it's chosen branch. Mello watched the bird with disbelief, trying to piece together the two objects before him. A bird. A tree.

A bird and a tree.

A partridge and a tree.

A pear tree.

...a partridge and a pear tree.

"You're a fucking idiot, do you know that?!" Mello spat, shoving his gun away and rubbing his temples with despair.

The most annoying Christmas song in the world. One that had haunted him throughout his days at Wammy's House. One that would constantly be sung by the fucking moron next to him whenever he showered.

One that said fucking moron had decided to bring to life.

"Come on Mells, think of the past nineteen Christmases you've had. They were all shit and mine weren't much better either."

"So what? You just had this sudden urge to bring that cursed song to fucking life?!"

Matt smirked and his eyes flashed mischievously behind his goggles.

"You bet your sweet ass I am."

Mello felt like wringing his neck. Snapping his neck. Doing something to his fucking neck! Smarmy fucking bastard! The bird chirped happily at the scene infront of it, fluttering out it's feathers and pecking at pear hanging next to it. Mello's eye twitched. That fucker was in front of his room. Shit...Matt must have planned this on purpose. Fucking twat!

"Matt...how the Hell am I supposed to get into my room now?!" He demanded, hand itching for his gun once more.

"You don't. For the next twelve days, you're in my room Mells."

Matt seemed awfully fucking cheery and Mello was putting all his money that it wasn't just his Christmas Spirit showing...

"You planned this all out you fucking--Mmmrpffhhh!"

His words were cut off as Matt kissed him sweetly. Mello rolled his eyes and leant into it, trying not to stray into the temptation of biting off Matt's tongue. Their kiss was interrupted by the partridge squawking rather loudly, clearly unamused at being neglected for so long. Matt sighed and pulled away from Mello, approaching the bird and allowing it to fly up and onto his hand. Mello watched with disgust as his boyfriend chose to tend to a bird's needs than his own.

Fuck. If he ended up competing with a bird for Matt's attention, then he knew then and there that he had lost it. Fuck! He might've well as lost it from just contemplating about it. Watching with disgust lacing his features, Mello eyed the cutesy scene of Matt caressing the birds feathers with care.

Dick...never held him like that. Fucker...never stroked his hair like that.

...

...

Hell. No.

Shit! He was not getting even the slightest bit envious of a fucking bird! Fuck that shit! Mello's eyes flashed with anger and he angrily whipped out his gun, cocking it and pointing straight at the bird's pathetic little head. Fucker.

"Mello, now I know you aren't going to shoot the bird, because if you were to shoot the bird, then that would lead to me being very upset. When I am very upset, I tend to either give you the silent treatment, a childish yet effective way to wind you up; I get pissed and destroy or sell everything that belongs to you and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want that happening...again. Or I will leave. In any case, it will leave you all alone, without sex for about a good month or so, give or take a week. That will most likely piss you off and when you get pissed, I get pissed even more. We then fight, one of us leaves, we do something illegal, then come back which will end in very harsh and rough sex. The next day will end up being awkward, tense and suffocating to the point where you get even more fucking annoyed and threaten to blow my head off. In the end, status quo is restored and whatever we argued about in the first place will be forgotten...unless it needs to be fixed, restored, bought once more or, in this case of the bird, given a proper funeral."

...it was highly unnerving to see Matt that calm and serious.

So unnerving that Mello actually placed his gun away and blinked a couple of times, regarding Matt with suspicion. The gamer was still cooing over the bird as if it were a newborn baby or the newest Mario game. His agile fingers ran along the bird's back gently, soothingly and Mello's eye twitched as the bird fluffed itself up once more, clearly enjoying the attention.

"You're a fucking dick Matt. Fine. You want the fucking bird, you can keep the fucking bird."

Matt's eyes lit up with delight as his head snapped around to smile at the blonde. However, Mello held up a finger to prevent Matt from getting too happy and gave him a strict and serious look. His eyes were still burning with irritance...they were rather pretty like that, in Matt's personal opinion.

That was one of the many reasons why he pissed Mello off so much.

"However...if that bird chirps, squeaks or so much as breathes too loud, I will send a pound of lead through it's fucking brains. Got it?"

"Crystal clear Mells," Matt responded, his smile still present.

Mello sighed and rubbed his temples once more, feeling a headache starting to emerge.

He turned away from the sickening scene in front of him, and started to head towards the bathroom for some headache pills. He had no idea why he allowed Matt to keep the damn bird, although he had a small inkling it had something to do with Matt's painfully realistic speech. Fucker...that bird would get thrown out of the window, not buried six feet under like it was...a person or some other sentimental shit.

Stupid fucker...why the fuck did he love him, really?

Mello peered at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, wincing at how _tired _and _weary _he looked. Fuck...with a bird that fucking chirpy flying around their shitty apartment, he reckoned he wouldn't get any much better looking. Shit.

He yanked open the mirror cabinet and grabbed a small bottle of pills, flicking the cap open and dropping two out, swallowing them dry. Wincing as they slowly slid down his throat, Mello made a mental note to buy more of them...only God knows how many more he would need with a fucking partridge in a pear tree in his fucking apartment!

...the blonde froze. A partridge in a pear tree. That's the first line, was it not?

Therefore...that meant that the second line was...

...

Oh. Hell. No!

He was not...Matt would not...Matt wouldn't fucking _dare_!

Would he...?

Of course, this was Matt, he was talking about...

Fuck.

Shit.

Shit!

"Mail Jeevas, you dare bring in a couple of turtle doves tomorrow and I'll blow your fucking brains out!"

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**Don'cha just loooove CHRISTMAS! ^_^**

**Hehehehehe....I love these two!**

**ANYWAY! Now that I am back from German-Land I have much inspirational material to go through ^_^**

**PERTY PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Hehehehehe....**

**Love City Girl**

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x  
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